There are a few birthdays in life that have significance. Everyone likes to turn three, as my daughter just did, and my nephew didn't mind turning two six days earlier. (This picture is of their joint celebration, which they will probably have to get used to since their birthdays are so close together.) There's the age of thirteen, when you can finally call yourself a teenager, and the age of eighteen, when you are considered an adult, and for some reason twenty-one seems to be a turning point in many of our lives.
I sort of mind the thought of turning thirty tomorrow.
I know I'm not going to be a different person. I know that the thirties are considered the best years of your life by many people, as my mom told me last night. But today, being 29, I feel like I am still attached in some small way to youth. Tomorrow, being thirty, will I lose my youth forever?
I can already feel just the tip of the iceberg when it comes to aging. There are microscopic wrinkles around my eyes. There's just a hint of stiffness in my joints when I sit for too long in an awkward position. And for the first time in my life, my exceptional memory skills seem to be slipping just a bit.
But why is it such a horrible thing to age? Why do I want to hold on to youth forever? My twenties brought me a wonderful, loving husband, a daughter and a son, a beautiful home, and the life as a wife, mom and homemaker that I have always dreamed of. I finished my first two novels in my twenties. I was published for the first time in my twenties. It was a great ten years. Why can't I trust that God will do even more amazing things in the next ten?
I don't think that I'm against moving on. I like change. I like to do new things, learn new things, and experience the world in ways I never have before. I think I'm just realizing that the childhood I loved is fading to a distant memory. I can never have those carefree days back. The twenties were a link to them. But now they need to be put to rest, and I need to move on. That's okay. I'm glad that God has done it this way. He's taught me a lot in the past twenty nine years and 364 days. I wouldn't want to have to go back and relearn it all.
And thirty is a whole lot closer to seeing Jesus. I think that's the best reason to relax and enjoy the passage.
I sort of mind the thought of turning thirty tomorrow.
I know I'm not going to be a different person. I know that the thirties are considered the best years of your life by many people, as my mom told me last night. But today, being 29, I feel like I am still attached in some small way to youth. Tomorrow, being thirty, will I lose my youth forever?
I can already feel just the tip of the iceberg when it comes to aging. There are microscopic wrinkles around my eyes. There's just a hint of stiffness in my joints when I sit for too long in an awkward position. And for the first time in my life, my exceptional memory skills seem to be slipping just a bit.
But why is it such a horrible thing to age? Why do I want to hold on to youth forever? My twenties brought me a wonderful, loving husband, a daughter and a son, a beautiful home, and the life as a wife, mom and homemaker that I have always dreamed of. I finished my first two novels in my twenties. I was published for the first time in my twenties. It was a great ten years. Why can't I trust that God will do even more amazing things in the next ten?
I don't think that I'm against moving on. I like change. I like to do new things, learn new things, and experience the world in ways I never have before. I think I'm just realizing that the childhood I loved is fading to a distant memory. I can never have those carefree days back. The twenties were a link to them. But now they need to be put to rest, and I need to move on. That's okay. I'm glad that God has done it this way. He's taught me a lot in the past twenty nine years and 364 days. I wouldn't want to have to go back and relearn it all.
And thirty is a whole lot closer to seeing Jesus. I think that's the best reason to relax and enjoy the passage.
2 comments:
Hi Mandy! I just read your thoughts on turning thirty and could completely identify. Turning 30 bothered me more than I wanted it to. The best way I could come up with describing it was, although 30 is not middle-age, it seems that the gateway to middle-age is now open. For some reason that bothered me and after reading your thoughts I now understand why. Your comment about the memories of your childhood becoming more distant hit the nail on the head. Thanks so much for sharing!
Thank you for reading! I am glad you could identify. It's much better to go through the hard spots of life knowing that everyone else is taking the same path with you.
But now I'm getting closer to 31 and wondering if that might be worse than 30!
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