When You Don't Know What To Do

This is my neice, Evelyn. You can't really tell by looking at this picture, but it was quite a funny moment as she came into the room before we opened Christmas presents. She had just been awakened from a nap, and was not herself. We talked to her and tried to get her to smile or say something, but she would not move or alter her expression at all. She just stood there exactly how you see her in this picture.

Okay, maybe you had to be there. Just trust me. It was funny.

But sometimes I feel like Evelyn. Normally, I tend to be a very decisive person who can make quick judgments. But there are times when I am clueless. More often than I'd like to admit, especially to my poor husband who feels that he is never allowed to be right, ever. But here in my private little journal on display for the world to see, I will admit it. I often don't know what to do. I often regret the things I say and the judgments I make. I agonize over what to say, how to say it, why I should say it, and when I should say it. I labor over actions, whether to do them or refrain.

So you can imagine my relief to know that the God of the universe does not expect me to have all the answers. I don't have to figure everything out, because He already has. My only job is to trust Him, and follow each step I am shown on the dark pathway that is the future.

Even more than this, I am so thankful for a husband to follow. I am so grateful to God for providing me with someone to be in control, whether I may seem appreciative or not. No, he is not a perfect leader. And I have a habit of letting him know that. But he is my leader, and I need him. I need direction in a world that doesn't always make much sense. I need to be able to rest at the end of the day and say "It's okay. God and Pete will figure this out."

And they will. And I will be happy to come along beside him and do the things that God calls our family to do.

Thank You, Lord, for a husband to lead the way. Make me a blessing to him and not a hindrance.