Sometimes when my babies are fast asleep I sneak into their rooms and watch them. See their chests rise and fall in steady syncopation. Their hand thrown unknowingly upon the pillow, their hair damp and sticking to their flushed little face. It gives me peace. Not just to know that at the moment I am not required to break up fights, motivate obedience, quell whining or dole out punishments but I am free to soak in all the wonder of who that little person God created really has the potential to be.
Lately I've been thinking about this world in which we are living right now in this country of prosperity and ridiculous wealth, recession or not. We have or can easily obtain everything we could possibly need and most of our reasonable desires as well. But sometimes I wonder what the trade has become. Our way of life requires our constant attention. Jobs to which we must drive to every day, where we give our strength and our creative energy into a company that may only be lingering on the precipice of ruin. We work harder to gain a glimmer of assurance that we might still have that job in the morning. Children are handed over to specialized care in order that they might be prepared for life, and at the same time are robbed of any extended period of time where they might simply play on their own and be a child. They are robbed of precious time with the only people on the planet that can show them how to relate to and learn to live in this life.
We have the relief of knowing there are doctors to care for us any time of day or night; within minutes in case of emergency they can be at our side. But to this blessing is added the stress of medical bills to pay, research and second opinions to find, decisions to be made about life and death that I'm not sure we were created to know how to make.
We have strong, beautiful homes to live in, that even if built to the least standard of requirement are safe enough to shelter us for years and years to come. But with this goodness we find that we are constantly required to maintain and give attention to the most minute of details in order to cause the building to continue to meet that standard. As soon as the paint dries there is a scuff. As soon as the filter is changed it is full. As soon as the dishwasher is installed it starts to deteriorate. The grass never ceases to grow, the landscaping never takes a break from over growing and taking over the yard.
And then after the endless, mindless bills are sent off and the calls are returned and the list of businesses asking for our money are silenced and the pets are cared for and the medicines are taken and the bottomless pile of laundry is somehow clean and dishes are not only washed but put away... when no one is in need of a meal for at least a few hours and toys have been picked up and correspondence has been cared for and somehow we have even found a moment to sweep the cobwebs from the ceiling and wash the windows and have the carpets cleaned... then there are the truly important things that are still left undone.
There are children to teach the way of the Lord. They must have life experiences, they must be taught about their world as it relates to their God. They must have time to spend with their parents playing in the backyard or riding bikes or sharing a game. They must have their talents developed with lessons or play sports on a team. They must know their relatives, they must have friends to spend time with. A husband and wife need to have time to spend with each other lest they become strangers living side by side. And then there is our church family, whom we need to be connected with as much as they need to be connected to us. We must learn to be a part of the body of Christ. We must learn to love others. And we must learn to love our neighbors and coworkers and take the time to know them and pray for them and tell them about the love Jesus has for them.
When all of this is done, there is still the most important part of our lives that has gone uncared for. Our own relationship with our Savior. We must be in His presence, hear His voice through His Word and bring our crazy, busy life before Him to ask Him for strength and wisdom.
Is it any wonder that He said we should "be still, and know He is God?"
This list of responsibilities is in no way exhaustive. All of us could add another blog entry full of things we are responsible to care for. How do we do it? How do we live in this culture and not drown in our concerns?
God gave us just the right amount of hours in the day, days in the week, weeks in the month, and months in the year. He didn't make a mistake. So if we are unable to accomplish everything in the time He has given us, we are the ones that are doing something wrong.
Do I know what it is? No. For me, a method of coping is not fighting the onslaught of commitments. It is in escaping to my imagination by writing or reading of other times and other places, of ideas. It is in letting go the things I didn't get done today that will truthfully not matter in a week or a month or a year. It is in being vigilant about the things that will still be important on my deathbed.
It is somehow fighting the storm of life, pushing against the wind, declaring to everyone vying for my attention, and reciting from the depths of my heart: As the deer pants for streams of water so my soul pants for you, O God. My soul thirsts for God, for the living God. When can I go and meet with God?
It is in being still and knowing... Him.
